July 2012
7 posts
Round-up of fine sentences, part 38
You have become the first president to execute without trial an American citizen because you hired David Barron and Martin Lederman — the constitutional lawyers renowned for their blistering attacks on the legal memos that justified the Bush administration’s use of torture — to write the legal memos that justified the execution without trial of an American citizen.
- Tom Junod
Talk about...
Round-up of fine sentences, part 37
It wasn’t until the next morning that I learned it was not an “accident” at all. The driver of the truck, a 35-year-old man from Connecticut named Frederick Weller, had been convicted of drunken driving at least six times in the past, and Sheffield police say he was drinking on February 28, too. So I don’t call what Weller did to Moira an accident. I call it murder.
- Ted Dobson
His pants had...
Round-up of fine sentences, part 36 (feat. pieces...
I hope Penn State loses civil suits until the walls of the accounting office cave in. I hope that Spanier, Schultz and Curley go to prison for perjury. I hope the NCAA gives Penn State the death penalty it most richly deserves. The worst scandal in college football history deserves the worst penalty the NCAA can give. They gave it to SMU for winning without regard for morals. They should give it...
Round-up of fine sentences, part 35
Lonesome George could relate to that. Though he was probably the last surviving example of the giant Galápagos tortoise Chelonoidis nigra abingdonii, he too refused to perform. Scientists, tourists, journalists, conservationists and the government of Ecuador all waited for two decades for him to mate successfully or, indeed, get it on at all. He wasn’t playing. In 1993 two females of a slightly...
Round-up of fine sentences, part 34
What happened next marked the Villisca killings as truly peculiar and still sends shivers down the spine a century after the fact. The ax man went back upstairs and systematically reduced the heads of all six Moores to bloody pulp, striking Joe alone an estimated 30 times and leaving the faces of all six members of the family unrecognizable. He then drew up the bedclothes to cover Joe and Sarah’s...
Round-up of fine sentences, part 33
They walked Sandusky out the back door of the courthouse and to a waiting sheriff’s vehicle, just 50 yards downhill from where they used to hang criminals in the courtyard of the old county jail.
- Dan Wetzel
A smart fourteen year old can call a police spokesman, get rote facts and report what occurred in the 1400 block of East Baltimore Street. But what is actually happening within the...
Round-up of fine sentences, part 32 (feat. Colin...
Goodbye, gas-station soda that’s too big for my cup holder
Did I ever stand a chance of consuming this much liquid? Of course not. But that’s not the point, the point is that you’re only 19 cents more than the medium. You were a hell of a copilot all these years, dispensing a bottomless dose of uppers into my bloodstream, like a carbonated IV drip. Unfortunately, you’re no longer the only thing...
